Fun Teacher

Everything is starting to feel normal so I feel lost. Sometimes, I don't feel fulfilled by this teaching job and other times I continue to think that this is a great place to be because it influences people.

I'm learning to look at myself differently. I'm learning to be humble because I realize that I don't give myself second chances. I am learning to live in the present and I am taking a second look on how my thoughts influence my actions and my reactions to others. We are all imperfect. Living in a foreign country, we become more aware of ourselves. It's a good place to be in little bite sized pieces everyday. Self care is a great thing.

There are many things I want to do but I'm not not sure which one would be the best for my own personal development and experience in Korea. I'm not sure why I can't do things that I actually want to do so I end up looking incredibly lazy to others. I attempt to learn Korean with a coworker and I managed not to study at all. I'm trying to become a former tomboy by creating a daily habit of wearing makeup everyday. I feel really confident when I do wear it. Let's say I am trying to transform my outer and inner self into something better. I want to be someone that I want to be around.

There are also moments in my life that I am not aware of until I tell my friends and family of my experiences with the kids at my hagwon. They all tell me that I sound like I am a fun teacher. I didn't realize that before but I guess I am. I try to make a class fun because otherwise who is going to pay attention? Adults want to have fun too!

My most memorable moment last week happened when I witnessed children having fun singing a song with perfect harmony and actions. I don't think I did much but whatever I did, it worked. They listened to the song in their textbook twice. S: Teacher! This is too fast! T: OK, listen one more time! Next, They practiced the song with motions and humming one time. At this point, there was no CD. They were automatically doing this anyway because the song was too fast. I told them to stop the motions. T: Sing the song to me. At first, they weren't singing. It sounded like grumbled English. T: Stop! S: They stop talking. T: Sing! The students sing the entire song. They knew every word really well. So, I gave the call for them to sing the entire song with motions and voice. I felt very happy watching them sing and clap their way through the song. They were having so much fun and I could feel it too.

Immediately after they were finished: T: Great job everyone! That was wonderful! S: Teacher! Your looking really pretty today! The rest of the class starts clapping for me. I smiled and said thank you. You are all great too! S: Yay! They continue to clap. We end the class with a bunch of English games since there was still class to be had. The class helped me to feel confident and to know that I should be here right now doing what I do and not wanting anything more in that moment.

I learned to appreciate what I already had.

Change

I'm starting to realize how blessed I am to be in Korea. There are people who say that it's the relationships that you have with other people that makes life more bearable. It's true.

I recently celebrated my birthday on Saturday. Every year, I wouldn't care very much about it so I'd treat it as any other day. It was a self fulfilling prophesy. I was miserable and it probably had to do with self esteem issues. This year, I wanted to do something different to make it special. I was like, Hell, I am still ALIVE!!! Isn't that enough reason to celebrate?

The Friday before my birthday. A few kids found out that it was my birthday. The older ones complained that I should of told them earlier so they could prepare for it. I thought that was sweet. The same class sang the birthday song for me for a minute. What sweet hearts. Speaking of sweet hearts, it was valentines day. It is a day to give and receive chocolate. I gave every kid a piece of chocolate. I ended up with a big handful of chocolate gifts from the students. My coworker, Romy, commented that the kids have good instincts. Ahhh! Such sweet people!

The next day, I treated myself to a Korean cooking class. I learned to make kimchi, kimchi pancakes and this type of meat with a three other girls eager to learn. I signed up wanting to learn how to make Korean food but I did not know what type of food I was making. I was excited to know that I would now be able to make kimchi for unsuspecting westerners. Ahahaha! The taste of kimchi is a required taste for most westerners. The taste of fresh kimchi is much better then the type that has been fermentation for a couple of days.

I was a year older. How do you act older? By getting a haircut. I like going to the salon. I choose this style because of the bangs. I only wanted a trip but she cut my hair shorter then I wanted it. I was the first foreigner to go into this hair salon. All my life I believed my hair to be thick with a slight wave but the hair stylist said my hair was really thing. I think that living in Korea for seven months changed my hair but definitely not for the better. There is a first for everything. I ended up becoming angry and asking all of my friends if they liked it. Most of their comments were positive. My wave is back. The style is growing on me.

Later, I made a reservation at an Indian restaurant. It is a favorite among foreigners and Koreans. It would be my 4th time there. I got a free bottle of wine to share at the table. I expected at leave 5-7 people to show up. I did not expect 11 people to show up to celebrate with me. My coworker, Romy, came as well. Somehow, I managed to invite all the Americans I knew. There were two Koreans. After dinner, we went to a nora bong. They are music rooms where people go and sing karaoke with one another. It was a good time. Three of my friends bought a small ice cream cake covered in ice cream stars. They all sang the birthday song. I felt really special and grateful for these people in my life.

Everything is normal again. There are no celebrations or vacations. I have been in Korea for seven months and have still not managed to learn any Korean. I have taken a few trips to see a few festivals and recently went on a trip to Jeju island. I hope to go back again when the weather is nicer. I hope to get a regular hobby so that my brain is not always occupied with school work.

Working at a hagwon (private school) is a lot of busy work. I work a swing shift from 1:30 pm until 9 pm. I don't enjoy swing shifts but I like this school. The work is becoming a little more difficult. I am struggling to update my skills as a teacher so I can multitask better. I don't know how people do this job for a living. I'm not sure if being a teacher fits my personality. It's difficult for me to make small talk but I tend to be really good with young kids. I'm still not sure what my strengths are because there is always something to be improved. Did I mention that I am craving to learn how to play the mandolin? I think the sound suits my personality. I'm not sure how I would do that or if I ever could. I find it difficult now just to find to cook for myself and keep my apartment decently clean. I really hate swing shifts.

Until next time.